Thursday, July 31, 2014

Conscience Who?

Everything we read about or see on television is sending a message; we need this, that or the other. Or it is saying that we deserve this, that or the other. The advertisements worldwide are a constant bombardment of someone or a program or a company telling us that we are not complete without their product, their ideal way of living, their resources, their connections to successful people or companies, their smarts, their understandings, and so forth.  Their pleads or challenges press in on us daily and somehow we have become numb to most of its pressure.

As a people here in the United States, it seems we are no longer pressure sensitive. It is as if we are mentally like a sponge allowing any liquid smooth idea, deal, opportunity or product to soak up into our minds and lives; with not a care of how harmful that smooth word or thought or product could truly be to our health and our success in this life.  Why are we as a people so desensitized to so many things? Where is the conscience?  What has happened to the alarm system that should ring loudly in our minds when thoughts and ideas are presented to us that are of questionable value, unclear consequence or untested success?  We just seem to accept so many of the ideas and ways of living that are presented to our culture without any true thought to it. "You must try this! And you will feel great and have more energy, more alertness and more success in your daily living!"  "Come here and win!" "Let us find the woman you have longed to connect with, who will bring back the life in your dreary routine and get you that release you are looking for!" "Join our great program, and gain the bright future you deserve!" 

It is so sad to see all of the ridiculous marketing this country has allowed to infest our minds.  We cannot seem to be people who make decisions for ourselves anymore!  We are urged daily to buy this, get that, learn this, go here, play here, watch this, laugh here, cry here, be scared out of your wits here, eat this, don't eat that.  And no matter how ridiculous it sounds written out like this, we still listen to the callings of all of these marketing pitches-when we watch television or go to the movies.

However, it is not the listening to them that is something to be worried about. It is the lack of listening to our conscience while we are listening to these other things. What do we think it is doing for us to just let others tell us how to live? We all have a precious gift that we were born with; although some of us have a better sensitivity to it than others. Our gift is our conscience. It tells us when we should wait, when we should not adhere to an idea. It tells us when to act and when to protect ourselves. The conscience haunts us positively with thoughts that help us weigh out the pros and cons in a decision.  Why have we denied our conscience access into our minds these days?  I know that we haven't because even in the responses and decisions of highly moral people, there is so much clear influence of silly empty ideas that our culture is continuously screaming into our world.

This culture is going to be what it is going to be as long as the majority of the population are just willing to take others ideas and never think for themselves what is best for them and their families. But we can choose to listen in such a way that could change the culture for the better. We can choose not to live mindlessly by the constant demands of billboards and advertisements, but be attentively listening (or reading, if you want to get technical)! Think of all the positive things that can be with this decision to listen to the conscience! So many mistakes will not be made. So many consequences will be weighed out before action is made. So many friendships will still be in tact. So many marriages, even will stay together. So many families will find that their belongings, when treated with care and respect, are valuable and precious. So many families will find that there are good healthy limits in living and freedom in this life still can be achieved.

I sure hope we see our nation returning to the conscience again. The conscience speaks to us about something even deeper that is everlasting. It speaks to us about who made us initially; that the Maker holds the key to all the success and life and happiness and order and peace and understanding and hope and health, etc., that we will ever need.

Maybe that is why the conscience is not being consulted. Is it that we, who suffer from lack of conscience consultation, do not want to know what the Maker has to say. Maybe it is because we do not want to know that God our Maker has a better more life-giving idea for us. Maybe it is just too hard on our ego to listen to our conscience because it will forever speak to the need for a eternal connection or relationship with God. Clearly, all should admit the Maker gave the conscience its voice in the beginning. And I must say, I know very well that not everyone believes there is a Maker. I know very well that not everyone believes they are made for a purpose by the Living God. But I also know, that no matter what, everyone has a conscience that tells of the deep emptiness that exists in the heart of one who has no love for the Living God. Those who do not know God have an emptiness that screams out or moans from the depth of the conscience. It is because there is no God yet taking up residence in one's life and mind. God, the Creator, promises that He will be with His people, those who believe in His Son Jesus. He promises to be with them everywhere and always by his very own Spirit---the mind of Christ--to help them in living this life on earth. The conscience knows this because it is made by that amazing God of love and power. If people would but listen to that deep aching and emptiness the conscience has revealed and find Christ Jesus as the only One who can and will forever FILL that void.

As I tell myself this, I encourage you as well. We do not need to adhere to all the callings of the people and companies and businesses and philosophies out there. We do not need to try everything before we can be anything or anyone. We need to know who we are at this moment. We need to know what we wish to achieve in this life and then pursue all of these ideas and opportunities with our heads screwed on rightly so as to make the best decisions. More than anything, we always will need the Maker--God the Father. If we haven't spoken with him, the LORD God in heaven and Jesus Christ the Son, we ought to do so, in order to have the clearest understanding of what we need in this life. Yes, I said it. And I mean it. With every fiber in me. We need the Lord God more than even the air we breathe.

The best news of all this is: He, our Lord and Creator, will help us know what we need to pursue, what jobs we need to get, what lifestyle we need to pursue and keep, what lifestyles we need to avoid and reject. He, the Maker and Sustainer--Jesus Christ the Lord and King, will give us the best and fullest life we can ever be offered. Let us start there. Our conscience is telling us that we need to connect ourselves to the Maker. Let us listen to our own God given hard-wiring. Then let us come, as we are, in prayer to the Lord God in heaven and ask Him to shape our story into something great and full of life and purpose.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Welcoming THE ROSE!

Today is a special day because I am welcoming a whole other group of ladies to join the Get Real, Woman family!  THE ROSE is a group of women who have received a beautiful red rose from me or my friends Sarah or Kay last week at West Chester University.  Once a woman gets a rose from us, they are forever welcome to be in THE ROSE.  It's like a club, but more like a common bond. Women who share a common story.

Speaking of story, that is exactly what I am wanting to write about today. We all have a story. Some of us like to share their story as much as possible and find ways to relate to their friends and....even strangers they meet. Others like to NOT share their story...ever...because it brings too many questions from those listening and thus is exhausting just to get through the story un-interrupted. Some of us have never thought that you have a that is unique to you and that has power to encourage, challenge, strengthen and...well, even entertain and bring joy to others. Welp, whoever you are, dear one, you have a grand story!

My story is unique. Your story is unique. Our story of coming together with this common ground of a blog called THE ROSE is unique. Sharing your story is important. Over the next few posts, I will be writing about this STORY thought.

So, even if you are the woman who loves your story or who thinks your story is no good or that your story is old and boring.  If you are a woman who hasn't thought, up until you read this blog post, that you ever had a story to tell. NOW you all most definitely have a story; your story of receiving a beautiful red rose from a stranger with a tag on it that led you to THE ROSE blog and then led you to us, here at Get Real, Woman!.  

May this blog encourage and challenge all the women who read it. May it cause each one of you to look deeper into God's Word, the Bible, and discover what Truth is. I know, and those who follow this blog know that my blog has not had a recent blog post in awhile, but it has more than 50 blog posts that are filled my heart's thoughts on my pursuit to being a woman of Truth. Be encouraged. Enjoy your day!  You are prayed for and you are deeply loved.

Monday, February 3, 2014


**NOTE: This was written for WOMEN, not for young girls**

My friend, CES, and I have been recently discussing several different topics that we married women get frustrated by and struggle to find our own personal opinions of them. CES has done a great job explaining one of those major topics in married life--at least for wives. Hope you are encouraged and challenged in some ways, too. Love--your Get Real, Woman! blogger, Becky Smith. ENJOY!

The Trouble With "Trying"
When I was in high school - and even in college - I always thought it was so cute when young married couples would say that they were “trying.” In my naive mind that meant “We’re totally loving this! Our marriage is great. We have sex all the time. It’s awesome!”

Oh, how wrong I was.

Don’t misunderstand. My marriage IS great. I have a phenomenal husband - smart, funny, financially responsible, handsome, musically talented, not to mention he loves the Lord. -- He’s the real deal and I am 100 percent blessed to have him in my life.

But -- this “trying” thing…it’s awful.

First of all - and maybe if I’d paid more attention in health class I would’ve picked up on this - As a woman, you’re only really fertile for a few days each month. You want to talk about pressure? Thanks to the internet and some fun little apps I can tell you exactly when those days are for the next several months. The problem is that those are also typically also the days when one of us is legitimately sick, injured, exhausted, away on business, or just plain not really feeling up to sex. But we “try” anyway.

Then over the next two weeks I struggle… every time I want pickles or ice cream, I question - is this a craving or just PMS? Every slight movement in my pelvis makes me wonder if it is the cramping of the earliest sign of pregnancy or just indigestion. I find myself tired after a long day of work and I convince myself that it’s a sign of the exhaustion of week 3 of pregnancy and start doodling the baby names I like on the scrap paper beside my desk and googling “nursery ideas.”

It’s cruel really. The symptoms of pregnancy being so close to regular PMS; a thing that I haven’t dealt with for years since I got on the pill. See, I never took birth control through high school, or even college, because I thought it was too much of an “indicator of sexual activity” and I wanted to stay pure but then the cramps that would keep me home from school started keeping me home from work and I knew I couldn’t keep that pattern if I wanted to keep my job so I went on the pill. Not only did my acne clear up (woot!) but my cramps disappeared and I stopped being psycho.

But then I got married and felt terribly convicted about using the pill for it’s “intended purpose” so I stopped and we started “trying.” Now I’m back to being psychotic once a month - conveniently at the time when I have the lovely opportunity of testing to see if I’m pregnant - not that it’s necessary since the last two weeks have convinced me that I am.

Only, I’m not. I fail the pregnancy test - again - with a single line.

It’s devastating. Over and over again. Month in and month out. This “trying” thing sucks. It sucks the life right out of me. It makes me crumble to the floor in tears. My husband finds me there and then I find myself, both of us on our knees and think…. Maybe this is how we need to start “trying”.... Maybe this is the “optimal position” for getting pregnant… Let us stop pressuring ourselves with dates and actions and instead just turn it all over to God - the true Giver of Life. Instead of “trying.” I want to surrender. I need to surrender this.

Desiring to be a mother has turned into an idol. I need to repent. My future children ought not be born out of selfishness but out of humility. God is the one who will bless me with children not my husband; though certainly he’ll help. We need - I need - to be patient and trusting that the God Who Hears will hear me and fulfill HIS promises. It’s not about me.

Heavenly Father -
Abba -

I can not endure this on my own. Even with my husband - I don’t want to do this without You. Help me to trust you. Help me to surrender my desires so that they can conform to Yours. Help me not to idolize pregnancy. I know that your word says that children are a blessing and I pray that you would bless us in that way - I trust that you will but I know that it will not be at the expense of Your Glory. Your timing will ALWAYS be far better than whatever my futile plans might be - help me to remember that when I get discouraged. But mostly Lord I just pray that Your will be done in our lives. In your son Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.


You know that feeling when someone finds out something you've done--bad OR good--that you didn't really want anyone to know?  Isn't it an interesting feeling to be exposed in that way?

Also, do you know that feeling of being enlightened to a new fact?  It's like so many others things around that one fact are exposed and able to now be compared to the new information?

Even in friendships, we choose to show our true feelings and our true struggles to one another. Thus expose ourselves, so to speak, to the other person because we are discussing ideas from our hearts and minds. These moments as well are crucial and memorable solely because something that was hidden is now seen......something that was dark is now in the light.

As I continue to add to my list of posts on this blog, things in my heart will be shared--thus my thoughts will be a bit exposed for you to read about them. Hopefully my thoughts, whether they be silly or serious, will be ones that cause you to think; knowing yourself and the world around you better.

And lastly, I will be posting articles from friends and acquaintances who will be my GUEST BLOGGERS.  Please be encouraged and challenged by their words. Feel free to comment and bring questions to this blog so that all of us can learn and grow from your thoughts and questions.

Thank you for reading. May you have a great day.

Coming soon, CES will be our guest blogger. She will be speaking to married women and/or women who are considering marriage. It is definitely a great place to expose some questions and topics that many women of the USA face these days.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Miss Me?

This Get Real, Woman! blog has been ignored by me for many months probably because I was just overwhelmed with other life commitments. It lost it's place in the non-existant, only in my head, list of priorities for this summer. ha!  I do want to apologize to those of you who have been checking my blog  each day for these many many months. I haven't forgotten this blog, I just did not have the quality time necessary to get a new blog post out.

Here are the highlights of my life since I last posted.

I have survived an entire summer as the mother of a three year old boy and I'm still going! Yay!  My son is wonderful and super sweet, but I will not hide the fact that it has been, at times, very challenging and stressful this summer to parent our wonderful, sweet and smart little boy. I'll just say...UGH! But I sure do love our little guy SO MUCH that the stresses of this summer could never out-weigh the goodness of parenting our little son.

I have become, since the last blog entry, even more aware of the need to be real with my friends and family and those I meet here and there. I am seeing so much more of my society seeking a deceptive lifestyle---trying to "save face" and keep people unaware of their pains and habits and losses. It clearly creates more pain for people, more agony, more mis-understandings and heart-break for those of us who keep things hidden and UNreal.  I am not sure why people are persuaded to be so deceptive in their expression of who they are........I mean, some of this I am sure of the reason why, but it's even among the people who say they believe in God--the source of hope and truth and joy and LIFE. So, that part of my observations still puzzles me. (the rest of this thought will just have to be it's own blog post)

I have been on a summer "break" from the full time job and privilege of collegiate ministry. My husband is the director of a collegiate ministry and I am the associate director. The summer months for our town are very scarce of college student involvement, presence, and energy. But school has started up again and the town is bustling with college students and our ministry is back in full swing. It is so wonderful to meet young women and young guys who are seeking to find God in their life.....who are interested in knowing more about why they were created, why they are talented in the specific ways they are. I very much enjoy spending my days encouraging and challenging young college women to seek truth---and as usual GET REAL with themselves and their world.

I have been enjoying the gift of family this summer. Relishing even the worst of days. I am so grateful to have the husband and son that I have. This summer, I have seen all the more how protective I am of my family and our time together.  If I notice anyone stealing too much of our family time, I struggle to have a good attitude about that person for what seems like days. haha! Yeah, I know. That's probably not good, but I value the little family God has given me and I am jealous when people get more quality time in with my man and my boy than I do. It's like, game on. Let's go. Boxing gloves on, ring the bell. Phfff! Phff! Juke left, juke right, under-cut.  haha! Not really---that was a bit of humor. I just REALLY love spending time with my family because ministry is an on-going thing that has a funny way of stealing family time. It's the battle and balance of time management that happens weekly.  Family and ministering to my friends, my family, and my community AND the college campus is where I love to be.

I have been writing my first novel this summer. So, instead of blogging. I have taken my free time later in the evenings to write....a novel. It has been very fun. Hopefully, I will continuing writing my novel and actually complete it.....instead of just letting it disappear from my lists of creative things to do.

Lastly, I just want to say....
If you are new to this blog, please read the first five or ten posts I have written.....from way back in the day of the birth of this blog.  It will help you know my heart for my postings and help you to really "hear" me on why I write this blog in the first place.

A little inspiration:
Get real, Woman. Love your neighbor. Treat others like you would want to be treated. Truly live, even if you have to wear bandages and nurse your wounds while you go on breathing. It is so much better to truly live your life than to embrace a fake version of you and constantly be on the stage acting. Acting is fun, I know, when it is on a theater's stage. But it is not fun when it's in the place of your real life.  We can live with discretion and not blast the world with all of our problems (by having self-control) and STILL be real with our world and our families. The one way....the only effective way I know how to really do that discretion and control piece is to seek out the God of heaven and to believe His Son Jesus as the Savior. Then, we are able to "real"-ly live.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Looking and Longing

How many minutes have passed since the last time you thought about something that you are looking for...that you are longing for to happen in your life?  Most likely, once you've researched this briefly, you will find that not too many minutes have passed since you thought of that something.

We women have deep secrets that we don't even share with our closest friends. Some of those things are great longings and lookings that saturate our the deepest parts. Ever so often, one of those longings will be exposed simply because of life circumstances and stress. But for most part, we women are resilient to keep those things locked away and hidden from everyone.

However hidden we think we have these things, these hopes and dreams (that seem to be too silly to share with even our dearest friends or our spouse) are seen and known intimately by someone. That someone is the One, the Lord Jesus Christ...God the Father...and the Holy Spirit. These three persons are one; in the form of the Trinity. God knows our longings and lookings.

Secrets and heartaches and unspoken hopes and dreams can be very taxing to carry along. I encourage you to first, bring them before God...since He knows and sees them in your thoughts already. The effort to speak them out to God in a prayer is still a powerful thing. God knows. And God cares about them because He loves you with an everlasting love.

Has it always been this way in the history of women? Have we always kept so many things so far away from the ears of our closest and dearest friends...even our spouses?  Why do we do it, when there is so much freedom and peace in knowing someone else hears us and can help carry that dream and vision to completion.  So what, if our hopes and dreams sound silly to someone-- once they are spoken. I believe we should first bring them to God, as I have already stated, and allow God to minister to our hearts and minds about the content. Then, if there is a peace in our minds and hearts about it, we can learn ways in which to share our hopes and dreams with others. Perhaps one of our dearest and closest friends is the very person who can help that dream or goal become a reality.

This blog post is somewhat simple and completely 'out of the blue', but it is so important that we spend a bit of time on a regular basis allowing the Light of God shine into the depths of us and allow that light to illuminate those dreams and hopes we suppress. It very well might be that those dreams,...those hopes...those grand aspirations were planted there by God because He knows we will able to accomplish it!  We must not live so superficially that we miss out on really sharing life with those we call our confidants. And if you do not think you have a confidant currently--a dear friend who you can share anything with. You already do--in God.

The part about you trusting God...believing He is the true God...believing His Son Jesus is true---that's completely up to you. However, once you do believe...and trust, the Lord Jesus is the best friend, teacher and counselor to ever be. Even before his birth, an angel spoke about Jesus; that he shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God, Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.

So, now I have to say it: get real, woman! You only live once. Let the glorious grace of God wash over you and your mind. Let him sort through the things rumbling in your heart. Allow Christ to look into your life and show you the great potential you have for great things; the things you have been dreaming of for years and years.  You have a grand purpose. Let us not let our insecurities and our cultures hold us back in this thing....this reality of admitting our longings, our hopes and dreams.

There is life in the truth. For us, it starts at the heart; being truthful with ourselves--about ourselves, then declaring those things to God. This is a beautiful way to embrace and proclaim truth to the world in which you live.

Get Real.
And I will strive to do the same.